Gottman therapy is a form of couples therapy designed to improve your key relationships. It was originally formulated to help people improve their marriages but the concepts, therapy and associated skills apply to all relationships.

The therapy is structured and goal-oriented. It is designed to provide you and your partner with improved communication skills to help you resolve conflict, increase closeness, respect, affection and intimacy.

Gottman Couples Counselling is conducted with you and your partner and a Gottman trained therapist in Sydney.

How can Gottman Couples Counselling at Sydney Couple and Family Specialists help my relationship?

Couples come to Sydney Couple and Family Specialists for a wide variety of reasons. Below are some common statements that we hear from clients looking to improve their marriages, partnerships and other relationships:

• We can’t resolve conflict. Our fights are hurtful. We are always arguing. We are stuck in a rut.
• My partner doesn’t want children but I do.
• My partner has had an affair. What do I do?
• We have different parenting styles. I don’t like the way my partner parents – what do I do?
• I feel so distant from my partner. They are shutting me out. We are growing apart.
• We have lost the ‘spark’. There is a lack of intimacy, affection and sex.
• I feel resentful toward my partner. My partner is always angry at me.
• I don’t know whether to leave or stay in my relationship.
• We have kids and we need help with separation.
• We always fight about money and finances.
• My partner is looking at pornography and I don’t know what to do.
• I don’t trust my partner. They don’t trust me.
• My partner dislikes my family. I can’t get on with my in-laws.
• We are struggling with the stress of health problems, or work.
• Mental health issues are affecting our relationship.

Despite the variety of issues that arise in long-term committed relationships, the principals of Gottman Couples Counselling are consistent. If you don’t communicate well, it is unlikely you will have a loving friendship with your partner, and in turn, trust and commitment in your relationship. Gottman therapy aims to improve communication skills to reduce the harmful effects of conflict and improve your friendship and feelings of closeness. From there trust and commitment build, and space opens up for connectedness and aligned goals.

If you decide to attend Gottman Couples Counselling at Sydney Couple and Family Specialists, you can expect to walk away with:

• Improved communication skills
• Higher levels of trust in your relationship
• Strengthened commitment
• A loving friendship – feel like you’re on the same team again
• The skills to effectively manage conflict
• Improved intimacy and closeness
• A way past long-term stalemates or gridlock
• Practical skills that everyone can understand and implement
• The skills to set you up for the relationship you want for the rest of your life

What happens in Gottman Couples Counselling? What distinguishes Gottman Couples Therapy from other forms of therapy?

Gottman Couples Therapy was developed by a researcher – John Gottman – and a couples therapist – Julie Gottman. Their combined skills meant that it was important to them that the therapy was effective (and measurably so), and that couples felt safe and supported by the therapist during the work. It achieves both.

Before commencing Gottman couples therapy, couples will often complete a questionnaire to help identify current and potential challenges that might arise in their relationship. TheGottman Relationship Checkup toolis the most rigorous and accurate assessment available, and has been developed from over 40 years of research with thousands of coupleson why relationships succeed or fail.

Beyond this, your Gottman trained therapist will quickly become attuned to the unique way you and your partner communicate and how conflict arises. You will learn and practice communication skills to stop doing damage and start rebuilding goodwill in your relationship quickly. You will receive homework assignments to strengthen these improvements.

You’ll also learn how to deal with long-term conflicts – the ones that keep coming up and never seem to go away. This will be done in session where you will practice discussing difficult topics in a way that does not escalate, but rather feels safe and supportive. You will feel truly heard and understood by your partner. For many, this is the first time they have felt this in their relationship.

Gottman Couples Therapy at Sydney Couple and Family Specialists is set apart by the structured, goal-oriented work it offers. Results are measurable from the very first session when couples walk out feeling much more hopeful about their relationship.

What sort of relationship problems is Gottman Couples Therapy suitable for?

Gottman couples therapy is suited to a wide variety of issues. These include by are not limited to:

• Frequent conflict and arguments
• Poor communication and frequent and repeated fights or conflict
• Couples that have drifted apart and might be considering separation
• Infidelity
• Finances challenges
• Conflict around parenting styles
• Sexual difficulties

Is Gottman Couples Therapy effective?

This is one for scientists, data analysts and those of you who like some metrics behind your therapy. You’ll be pleased to know the Gottman method is empirically supported across a huge variety of relationship issues and circumstances. It has been found to be effective regardless of race, religion, sexuality, socio-economic status, and relationship maturity.

What distinguishes Gottman Couples Counselling at Sydney Couple and Family Therapist?

The unique element relating to Gottman Couples Counselling at Sydney Couple and Family Specialists is that our therapists are not solely trained in Gottman Therapy. We are highly experienced in practice, and draw on a wide variety of complementary therapeutic modalities and relationship techniquesto ensure you receive the best available therapy for your relationship. Your therapist at Sydney Couple and Family Specialists will also draw from:

• Systemic Theory
• Emotionally Focused Therapy
• Solution-Focused Therapy
• Transgenerational Therapy
• Imago Therapy
• Structural Therapy
• Strategic Therapy
• Cybernetics
• Milan and Post Milan