What sort of couples benefit from relationship counselling?April 26, 2018
In my Eastern suburbs practice I see so many different types of couples. Couples who would never look ordinarily seek therapy. Couples who are very open to therapy often having had therapy in the past. Couples who are shy of the therapy process and sit tentatively on the edge of the couch. Couples who are loud, expressive and colourful. I see it all and work with it all.
One thing they all have in common is that they are people who “want” more out of their relationship.
But why seek a marriage counsellor?
There many reasons why people (even Therapists themselves) seek out a Couples Counsellor:
- The Counsellor is able to formulate questions which help the couple to think about their problem in a different way. Because the problem is not with the Counsellor she/he is not emotionally attached to it and can take a step back to consider the issue in a different way to the couple.
- The Counsellor is able to provide a safe space for the couple to explore difficult issues that may result in conflict at home. People report to me that they “behave” better in front of another person. If there is conflict, a good Therapist will know how to contain that conflict so it doesn’t get out of control.
- A relationship Counsellor will be able to teach the couple to listen and empathize with each other. This can be difficult for a couple to do alone when emotions and defences are high.
- A Counsellor will be able to look at negative patterns the couple find themselves stuck in. Couples will be given strategies to create new healthier patterns which results in deeper connection and happiness.
- A Counsellor will be able to help a couple safely and carefully unpack resentments without adding to the problem or making the problem worse.
- A Counsellor will give the couples things to do that will help facilitate closeness and connection.
Just the very act of a couple attending a relationship session is an indication that they couple value their relationship. Some couples I see even say they like to come to a session together because for that hour it’s all about them without any other distractions.