Anxiety, Articles by Alex Ryder, Couple's counselling, Relationships

Going to Relationship Counselling alone

Do you know there are issues, but you think your partner is ignoring them?

Is it the same old problems that arise, without ever being resolved or you feel disconnected from your partner and you are wondering where this relationship
is going?

But what if your partner refuses to go to marriage counselling or couples counselling?

At the Sydney Couple and Family Specialists we see a lot of people for relationship work on their own. Sometimes this
is because a partner won’t attend and sometimes it’s because people want the space to work through their thoughts and feelings about their relationship
without their partner present.

It may feel like you are doing all the work, at least initially, because you are.

But remember, your commitment to relationship therapy is a commitment to not putting up with the status quo any longer. It is a commitment to improving your relationship.

Here are some things you can expect from individual relationship counselling:
  1. You will feel empowered when you learn you have the skills to change the relationship dynamic just by learning how to approach your partner differently.
    You will learn strategies and receive guidance to give your relationship the best chance to improve in ways you may not have thought possible.
  2. Your partner’s decision to not seek professional support with you may not be their final decision. Very often your new-found confidence and
    understanding of the situation learned at therapy will trigger their interest and have them wanting to attend.
  3. At the Sydney Couple and Family Specialists you will be seeing a trained Couples Therapist who will look at your whole family system and will help
    you make sense of why negative behaviours and concerns are occurring, and how to stop them from occurring in current and future generations.
  4. You can expect to get honest feedback from our relationship counsellors.We will not simply validate your experiences – we know that there are always
    two sides to the story and we will be direct when we believe your behaviours are unhelpful or out of line. We will also help you find alternative
    behaviours to improve your relationship.
  5. We will also help you to clarify and decide what you want from your relationship going forward.Sometimes this may mean help with exiting your relationship.
  6. The work you do is an opportunity for your own growth and development. Whatever the issue is, unless you grow beyond it in this relationship, it is
    very likely to show up again in the future, whether it is in this relationship or another.

Do not allow your relationship to deteriorate while you wait for your partner to come on board. Come and get support, skills and strategies that will empower
you to make the right decision for your current relationship or perhaps future ones. Contact us today on 02 8968 9397.

About Alex

Alex is an accessible and compassionate therapist.  His clients appreciate that Alex listens with the intention of genuinely understanding them.  He’s lovely with adolescents, who seem to warm to him

immediately, and he creates a space in sessions for any or all participants to have their say and feel heard.

Alex’s particular strengths are in the area of working with couples and he has extensive experience and training in this area.  He is both Gottman and Systemically trained and draws on practical ideas that clients can immediately make use of to enhance their relationships.

Alex comes to Sydney Couple and Family Therapy Specialists from backgrounds as a Lifeline Crisis Line Counsellor and Trainer and Therapist at the highly-respected Jansen Newman Institute.  He has supported individuals and couples through trauma, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation and adolescent struggles.

Alex has helped many people through intensely frightening and painful life events – and to a place where they have the skills and confidence to carry themselves forward.

Alex is married with a young family and therefore easily relates to the stress and struggles that many couples and young families face today.

“It takes a lot of courage to share a moment of crisis with someone you don’t yet know.  Even more so, to entrust your intimate relationship over to them.

I have been in the fortunate position to be trusted with that responsibility many times and have helped people – through their own bravery, honesty and effort – to transcend their suffering and improve their key relationships.”

Alex also runs the pre-marriage counselling course at the Sydney Couple and Family Specialists https://sydneycoupleandfamily.com/couples-pre-marriage-pre-commitment-course/

Qualifications and Professional Membership

Alex holds a Masters of Counselling and Psychotherapy from Jansen Newman Institute Sydney, and a Bachelor degree from the University of Sydney.  Alex also holds a Gottman training certificate.

He is a member of the Australian Association of Family Therapy, the Counsellors and Psychotherapist Association of Australia, and the Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia.

Why see a Couples Counselor?

Are you wondering if couples counselling is for you? In this interview Alex Ryder answers common questions we hear from people who want to understand more about this process.

And remember, if you are a new client you can book a free 15 minute telephone session with Alex.

“We really like your approach. The other couples counsellor we saw left us stuck in negativity.  Right from the start we felt hopeful with you.  Your positive approach helped us out of the slump, so we could address the real issues.” – Murry (36) married to Tasha (39); One Child (3) – Clients who saw Alex Ryder for Relationship counselling.

“I’ve wanted to refer you to so many people.  Obviously I haven’t given the circumstances, but we are huge fans and are so grateful for your help.” – Tom (49) married to Sarah (43). Two children; 15 & 13 – Clients who saw Alex Ryder for Relationship counselling following an affair.

“I think we told you in our first session that you were the last couples therapist we were going to try. Everything was on the line.  So thank you for… well everything.” – James (55) married to Philippa (53) – Clients who saw Alex Ryder for Relationship Counselling

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