Do holidays mean divorce to you?

January is often referred to by psychologists as “divorce month”.

Why?

Because this is the month that many couples struggle with the reality of their relationship. External stresses like financial struggle following
Christmas don’t help. And many couples are spending a lot more time together away from the distraction of work. Time together for some couples increases
exposure to negative behaviours and increases the likelihood of arguments. Therefore, we tend to get a lot of urgent calls in January for marriage
counselling and relationship help.

What are some ways that couples can avoid a crisis in their relationship this January and beyond?

1. Discuss your expectations of the holiday season ahead of time. Many couples do not communicate their expectations well but have firm ideas about how
   the holiday period should play out (in their own heads). Unmet expectations cause a lot of arguments resulting in hurt and resentments.

2. If you have financial concerns, don’t avoid talking about it. Get together to make a plan to get back on track.

3. Put firm boundaries around other people who add stress to your relationship.

4. Make some time to re-connect together again without the children. This will build goodwill in your relationship which makes spending time together
   easier.

5. Give each other some space and allow each other to have some time on your own.

6. If your partner is behaving in a way that is hurting you, don’t sit on it. Storing up hurts and resentments leads to full-blown arguments with things
   said that people really don’t mean.

7. Look at structuring in some activities – many individuals struggle with the loss of routine while on holiday and this can increase frustration and
   strain a relationship.

8. See a couples’ counsellor sooner than later. Many people are reluctant to start marriage counselling only to find out during the holiday period they
   are in trouble as a couple.

There is nothing more upsetting than not having your needs met in your primary relationship. Don’t leave it until you are facing a separation or divorce.
Our specialist Couples Therapists at the Sydney Couple and Family Specialists can help you quickly regain your connection as a couple. Contact us today
on 02 8968 9397.